Cultivating a Treasured Community: Four Lessons I've Learned.

Do you have community in your life? Do you have people who encourage you, support you, and love on you through all of life's hills and valleys? Are you doing these things for those in your life? I have many groups of supportive communities like my family and my church. But, I want to share with you what the Lord has taught me about cultivating or developing community with a special group of moms I've had the privilege of getting to know this year.

A few weeks ago I was on my way home from Wednesday night church and a sweet friend sent me a text that read, “hey, I left some muffins on your patio”. The Saturday before this she watched me cry like a baby on my sister-in-law’s shoulder at a tea party my home church hosted. While she didn’t say it, I think she also picked up on my heavy heart that following Monday at the Bible study we go to. I’m not huge on hugs, so I won’t say the muffins were like a warm hug. For me, they were comforting in that they were a reminder that I wasn’t alone in this often confusing world. Let me be clear, I know I am not alone. We are blessed to have a very large family and we are close with most of them. But something about a friend randomly letting me know I'm thought about and cared for can impact my day significantly.

I’ve only known this friend for a little more than a year. But in the year that I’ve come to know her she has shown me so much love, encouragement, and is a pure joy to be around. She is one of many friends who have given me so much community this past year. The Lord pressed on my heart last year to try to cultivate closer relationships with a group of moms I join every month at a moms group. I had no idea that in trying to bring other moms together I would receive the best community since becoming a mom myself. Over the last year, the Lord has taught me several lessons about community, but here are 4 that have been the most impactful to me and I hope can encourage you as well:

1. It's so important to get to know your people. This means showing up for events, listening and sharing in conversations with them, making efforts to send a message every now and then, doing small things to let them know you've thought about them and you care. You get the idea, right? Just be present. Physically and mentally. Now, here’s an important lesson I’m learning and trying to treasure and remind myself of often: You don’t have to try to build community with everyone at the same time. It’s near impossible, at least for me. Last year, I stepped down from a few things at my church in order to make more time and mental space to jump into cultivating community with this specific group of moms. This means I can't attend everything at my church because I'm simply human. I am a wife, a mom, I work part-time from home and I'm a full-time caregiver to my two daughters. There are not enough days and hours in the week to be everything to everyone and attend everything. There are many times when I struggle with not being able to attend or do everything but my husband reminded me recently that we are called to minister to our entire area and not just those who attend our church.

2. Being vulnerable cultivates stronger relationships. So much has been shared with the moms that come to my house each month for Bible study. We have laughed and cried over funny life moments and life moments that are scary and heavy. We are learning how to help each other carry some of these heavy moments together. Being vulnerable allows us to better support one another in the tough moments. Vulnerability can be scary, but with the right people it's so rewarding. The more we met over this past year, the more trust we built with each other and the easier it became to be vulnerable and share the messy parts of life.

3. Accept your community's love. It is so much easier for me to be serving someone else than it is for me to accept help and encouragement from others. It makes me feel awkward when someone offers help and encouragement and it is truly a fault of mine. It's easy to be self-sufficient, until it's not. This lesson pairs with being vulnerable. My friends don't know how to be there for me if I'm not vulnerable enough to share my struggles.

4. Treasure your community. Appreciate them. Cherish them. Hold them dear to your heart. Try everything in your power to keep them close. Love them big.

These are lessons I'm learning. They are not perfected and never will be because I'm an imperfect being. But praise Jesus that he gives grace and mercy to me while I'm learning to serve my people.

Friends, treasure your community when you find them.

Allow them to love you and serve you.

Do the same for them.

It can transform so much of your life.