Grief: A Hated Season with Treasured Comforts

My dad died almost exactly a month ago. It hits a little different every time I write it out. I’ve experienced grief before, but never like this. Losing a parent is rough. There are things involved in my dad's passing that I wish to never experience again. It feels as though my brain and heart take turns grieving. At times, my brain feels jumbled and in other moments my heart aches.

However, in the midst of all my grieving, I’ve experienced the Lord’s comfort like never before. The Lord has revealed himself and comforted me with various perfectly aligned plans, sweetly timed hugs from friends, the most peaceful snuggles with my babies, and intentional time away with my husband. He's calmed my heart with scripture and encouragement from friends.

There are moments though when I lose sight of the Lord’s comfort. I know the Lord is sovereign, but moments of anger and confusion creep in when I think of how young my dad was. Moments I hoped we’d one day have are no longer possible and that is hard to process at times.

Those moments are comforted with the spirit reminding me that my pain and heartache are very seen by my heavenly Father.

Despite some rough times in mine and my dad’s relationship, towards the latter end of his life, he always made me feel seen. He was always proud of me and he never let me forget it. He noticed things I liked and would ask me about them. He seemed to see me more than ever before and it was so beneficial in growing our relationship.There are many things I miss about my dad, but this is one I miss a lot.

The Lord is using this season of grief to remind me that He sees me. Even when I feel completely invisible, I am comforted with knowing that my heavenly Father sees me and knows me better than I know myself. I am loved. I am comforted. I am seen. I treasure these truths everyday as I learn to walk through this season.

Grief is weird and hard. I never wish to go through this again, but I know I will. I am fiercely holding on to and treasuring the Lord’s comfort right now.